Waking Up

The hardest thing right now is sticking to two runs a week. Often I want to do more, but my first week that I was cleared to run again, I did three runs (a total of 6 miles for the week), and I was sore for days afterward and I got all paranoid that I had injured myself.

I've done 6 runs since my return to running 3 weeks ago!

Last week I started adding a little bit of mileage to my runs, bumping from 2 to ~2.5. I have my 5k on February 17 and I want to be sure I can cover that distance without injuring myself.

Starting next week, I am going to try adding a third run and will see how things go.

I've also noticed that during the running portions of my intervals, I'm really slipping into some speedy territory. I've glanced down at my watch and seen low 9's, which is way too much effort, and I've had to pull myself back. I'm aiming to do the running intervals in the 10s because otherwise I really start to lose energy toward the end of my 2-milers.

I have no business running at this pace, even for a few seconds.

I've been anxious about running alone, but did manage to get a solo run in last week that really boosted my confidence. Then, I was in a rush to get a run done before Matt and I went out this Friday,  so I went alone again. Matt was still at the studio, but he found me on his way home and joined me toward the end of the run.

First solo run!

He has been so supportive. I mean, he always is a supportive partner, but the fact that he wants to come with me and takes all kinds of pictures and is excited for me is just so appreciated. On Friday, I veered off our usual loop to add some mileage and his response was, "Look at you, adding distance!" and he was just so proud and happy for me...It feels good to share the excitement of baby steps with someone.

Friday's run...this was the first one that I felt really decent overall the entire time, just tired near the end.

These runs are far from perfect. Both my calves feel a little weak and there are the usual aches and pains that accompany getting back into exercise after a long time off. I am trying not to overthink any of that; mostly I am just overjoyed to be running again at all. My heart and mind are in a state of pure bliss when I'm out there.

I am truly beginning to feel like myself again, like I've been in hibernation and am slowly waking up. I feel better overall. I knew being unable to run was having psychological effects on me, but now those effects are falling away and I feel this overwhelming sense of relief and hope. At the same time, I still feel scared; like maybe this is all too good to be true.

Anyway, I can't accurately describe how full my heart is during every run these days. I just hope the feeling continues.

ABK