So, I Ran a Little

Wednesday night, I went for a run.

Last week I couldn't say no to the constant drizzle and went out for a two minute run behind my house, just to remember the feeling.

Literally two minutes in the drizzle and it was the happiest I've been after a workout in weeks.

Those two minutes were like a gateway drug! After that, I just kept thinking about when I could try again. My plan for my legs is to work running back into my schedule and if/when the pain comes back, make sure I have a doctor at the ready to do the necessary tests.

So, Wednesday. In summer, after tourist season, the golf course closes a little earlier and the later sunsets mean it's still nice and bright when the course is empty. That means I can run on it more often. After Elizabeth's and my arm workout Wednesday, I didn't feel I'd done enough, so I let my feet lead me outside.

I set my watch to 4::45 intervals. I put on some music but left my headphones off. And then I just...ran.

In that first four minutes, I saw a little family playing on the green. A girl, maybe four years old, her toddler brother, and her dad.

She caught sight of me and started running full-tilt toward the path I was on. She was smiling and waving exuberantly. She stopped at the edge of the rough and my path, out of my way, and kept waving at me. I waved back, grinning.

"You're exercising!" she cried.

"I am exercising!" I agreed, and my heart was pumping: joy joy joy.

"That's what you do," she called after me as I ran past.

Heck yeah, kid! This IS what I do! It was like she had seen into my soul!

The run was perfect. My paces were in the mid-9s early in my 4-minute intervals, edging into the 9:50s as the time ticked by, and the walk breaks were just the right length. I didn't quite complete two miles because I set a route and chose to stick with it so I wouldn't overdo it. But I couldn't have been happier.

Intervals are new to me so I'm not sure how fast I'm supposed to walk, but I was happy and impressed with the overall effort I was able to put in!

After the run, staring at myself in the mirror, I felt a sense of calm. This is who I am. I am home. I feel secure in this. I felt a satisfaction I hadn't felt in ages. I looked at my reddened face and sweaty hair and was filled with a peace and sense of wellbeing I hadn't even realized I'd been without for these past couple runningless months.

PURE. FREAKING. JOY.

And I felt relief. I still love running. It hasn't forsaken me. It's still a part of me.

I'm not naive enough to think everything is good and I'm cured and healed and whatever else...but I will take this little bit of progress and the joy it brought me, and I will bask in it.

ABK